Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
