you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
