i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
