When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
