If i could tip my vagina, i would.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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