Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize