Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
