Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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