I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
