the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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