u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
