By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
