google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve this hangover.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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