Small penises have feelings too.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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