Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
birth control should be required to get into college
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
