just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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