i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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