So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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