Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize