so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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