I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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