The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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