what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
