He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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