i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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