Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
