i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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