So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
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Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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