Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
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There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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