I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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