We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
