why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
