y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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