she smelled like a LAN party
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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