do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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