mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
