No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
