fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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