If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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