she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Actions speak louder than pants.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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