sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just had sex on a roof
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
