my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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