We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
