You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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