apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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