like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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