Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
