Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
