Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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