The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
