I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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