The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
