having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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