On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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