the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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