your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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